Ebook Download , by Jen Waite
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, by Jen Waite
Ebook Download , by Jen Waite
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Product details
File Size: 1249 KB
Print Length: 272 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0735216517
Publisher: Plume (July 11, 2017)
Publication Date: July 11, 2017
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01N7F3WOC
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#45,436 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
3 1/2 stars. Jen Waite movingly writes of every woman's worst nightmare: She discovers just after the birth of her child that her husband is having an affair. The book is split into "Before" and "After" (before she discovers this and after). The "Before" is filled with the courtship of she and her restaurant coworker, soon to be boyfriend, and then eventually husband, Marco. The "After" the journey she takes after discovering her husband's affair with another of his coworkers (the man doesn't seem to cast his net wide), their split, her research into psychopathy (she is convinced her husband has anti-social personality disorder), and emotional recovery.The "After" portions are chillingly delineated, and this reader felt her heart skipping beats and her blood boiling along with Jen's as the author begins to put together the pieces of her husband's affair with a 22-year-old Russian who likes to take selfies (that in and of itself is enough to make one puke) and to unmask his unending lies and manipulations. I took off a half-star, however, for the "Before" portions, which describe the progression of a relationship that seems, on the surface, to be fine. I kept waiting for the "red flags" that normally appear when one engages with a psychopath (they are always there, and usually follow a distinct pattern), however, all I was finding was an attentive, loving man and what seemed an average courtship. Chapters are devoted to Jen getting to know her Marco's son from a previous marriage, Marco’s birthday party, etc. The chapters do nothing to serve the story. Yes, no doubt there were long stretches where Marco seemed like a normal guy - otherwise Jen likely wouldn't have married him - however, if your memoir is billed as one that analyzes a relationship with a psychopath, then the "Before" portions should have done this as well. Instead, it is not until close to the end of the book that Jen doubles back and reveals there were plenty of glaring red flags along the way - the most glaring being that she and Marco started their relationship before he broke up with his long-term girlfriend. So, from the beginning, Jen knew he was capable of cheating. I got the feeling she buried this information so that the reader wouldn't lose sympathy and abandon the story early on. There are other classic red flags too - Marco is a love bomber who buries her in flatteries, he's a law breaker (an illegal alien), has sad, pitying tales he tells her of his former relationships and childhood, and has a tumultuous work history and never has any money. Unfortunately we don't learn all of this until the last quarter of the book as the "After" Jen begins to take stock of her marriage. For me, those signs should have been delineated in the "Before" sections, even if Jen didn't realize they were "signs" at the time.It's tempting here (as some have done in the comments) to dismiss Marco as a "garden variety jerk and cheater," but as someone who has studied psychopathy intensively, this goes beyond that. This is a man who was cheating from the get-go, and who pushed the sorts of boundaries that even garden variety cheaters normally don't (such as calling his mistress on the day his wife gave birth). In fact, at one point Marco does something that even psychopaths don't normally do - he flat-out tells his wife he has "no feelings." And he does this over and over, and portraying it as some kind of physical ailment. For me, the idealize, devalue and discard pattern of the Cluster B personality type is quite clear. The idealize lasted while Marco needed his green card and money for the restaurant he started (which Jen basically funds) and the devalue as soon as he had those things and Jen's attention turned to their newborn. The man also admits that he was plotting to kill a waitress he'd had an affair with. Hardly garden variety!One thing that also confused me was that at the end of the book, Jen strongly hints that she decided to take revenge on her philandering husband, and even says that if you're tired of women getting the short end of the stick while waiting for karma to run its course "this next section is for you" - but then no revenge is coming. Unless Jen deciding to become a therapist is some sort of twisted revenge.Jen Waite is a strong, sympathetic character, her writing is solid if not lyrical, and the book should help anyone in these types of relationships feel they are not alone (though there are hundreds of websites for that too). It was good to see her so quickly grasp the crux of her sad situation and use it to look inward to herself and how to improve what made her vulnerable to a person like this.P.S. The husband is easy to find online. I’d thought from Jen’s descriptions, he would be very attractive. Well, you know what they say, love is blind.
Boy, where to start.. I should have read all the negative review first, and believed them. Everything they said is exactly what I felt. She is not an author. She cheated on someone and then wrote a book justifying her bad behavior under the premis that she was duped. How can we feel sorry for her? The book reads like a child wrote it and funding by a social media group. Please do not pay for this book. If you feel compelled to read it, I can send you mine. Or go to the library and check it out. One of the reviewers states that the author was an unsuccessful actor trying to capatilize on her past. I suppose that could be said about many of us, but unfortunately for us, Hers was written down and put on our feed as readable and interesting.
Just started reading this but I am already irritated. The book starts out saying how the relationship began while she was in a committed long distance relationship with someone else. Kind of hard to be upset and shocked about being cheated on when you started the relationship cheating on someone.
I am certain I am not the first to write or think this, but this memoir is a terrible, terrible thing. How did this book get published by a real publisher? Jen Waite is not a writer.The writing lacks any sort of art and seems more fit for social media or click bait than a published book. The dialogue is banal, the events are repetitive, the word choice is juvenile and all of the characters (including the narrator) are superficial, both in depth and development. There is no big reveal. Nothing extraordinary happens. Just a wildly naive and immature 31 year old playing armchair psychologist who unwilling and unable to see past herself and act in the best interest of her child.Skip right to the "About the Author" and it will tell you everything you need to know. "[Jen] plans to pursue a graduate degree to become a licensed therapist." Note that Jen has not done the hard work of earning a graduate degree, nor is she currently pursuing one. She is planning on doing it, which, essentially, means nothing.
It had potential, but the latter portion of the book read like a book report on psychosis. I'm honestly surprised this was published. She cheated on her boyfriend with some random bartender, then he cheated on her. The book was a quick, easy read... very simple. That's the best word. Simple. So she was cheated on, at least she could disappear and be completely taken care of by her parents and hide away. She seemed very spoiled rotten and not strong at all. I didn't see nor feel any sympathy for her. So many women have had a husband who cheated, and have suffered. Most can't hide away and not take care of their own child. I have never done a review on book on Amazon. I read two a week and felt compelled to review this book. Don't waste yur money.
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